Where is my grace?

Something I've struggled with in my life is grace.

I never know who deserves it, who I should give it freely to and who to hold back on. (If such a person exists.)

Instead of saying "I don't have grace for _____," I've decided to say/think/do "I want to have grace for _____." Because right now, there are a few people in my life who could use my grace and I want to have grace for them, but it feels like I don't.

I have miles upon miles of grace for Emersen, yet not nearly as much for Cooper or Paul.

I have almost no grace for people who speed down my street, but when I'm in a hurry I hope someone (namely police officers) have grace for me.

I have marginal grace for parents who don't teach their children right from wrong, as evidenced in the previous entry.

Should I have grace for the parents who don't stop their child(ren) from terrorizing the playground?

This is where I am conflicted. I don't understand Grace. I want to, but I don't. Up until I became a Christian, grace meant poise and balance. Now it's a whole other ball game.

Did someone cut in the grocery line? Give them grace. They must be in a bigger hurry than I.
Did someone cut me off in traffic? Give them grace, they may not have seen me.
Is someone consistently taking from me? Give them grace, they need it.

The list could go on forever.

Now I'll ask the forbidden question.

Who gives ME grace? Well, the simple answer is, God. He should be providing all the grace I can handle. Some days I wish it were enough and some days it is.

http://picasaweb.google.com/thenavywife21 for new pictures of Emersen.



Samantha said...

such a great post, what a good way to think about things! And a great reminder...

thanks for the crib suggestion- super good idea to get a mattress cover, never even thought of that!

Nicole said...

Been thinking about this post a lot lately. Trying to remember to give the boys grace even though they drive me crazy when it's freezing so we're stuck inside with no other adult help or distraction. I've been finding I need to give myself grace lately too. I expect myself to be some super military wife who can handle all this separation and single-parenting with all sorts of perfection. But I can't. I need to accept that, give myself some grace and just do the best I can. Sometimes I really wish you'd get stationed in Virginia :).

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